Funny translations

The tourist industry is often conspicuous for saving money on translations. Here for your amusement, I hope, are some curiously translated signs and notices written in ‘English’, as seen in hotels all over the world.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to climbers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

 

And some special Swedish ones (thanks to Jan Erik Moström in Umeå) :

CEO of a Swedish company at a international meeting:
Next year I will have to fock 78 people, mostly women“. (‘Focka’ means ‘sack’ or ‘fire’.)

General manager of another Swedish company at the opening of a trade fair:   “I now declare this mess open“.
(‘Mässa’ means ‘trade fair’.)

A Swedish schoolteacher was visiting England with his class. When it was time to  introduce themselves
to their host school, he started in classic style:  “Hello, we are from the Swedish fuck school…”.
(‘Fackskola’ in Swedish means ‘vocational  school’)

Of course mistranslations happen the other way round, too. At Hertz car rentals, Belfast airport, in 2010 I saw:
Have a safe journey!” translated into Swedish as “Kassaskåp resa!”
(a ‘kassaskåp’ is a ‘safe’ – in the sense of a lockable cupboard!)

Do send me more such gems for wider publication!