Funny translations

The tourist industry is often conspicuous for saving money on translations. Here for your amusement, I hope, are some curiously translated signs and notices written in ‘English’, as seen in hotels all over the world.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to climbers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.


And some special Swedish ones (thanks to Jan Erik Moström in Umeå) :

CEO of a Swedish company at a international meeting:
Next year I will have to fock 78 people, mostly women“. (‘Focka’ means ‘sack’ or ‘fire’.)

General manager of another Swedish company at the opening of a trade fair:   “I now declare this mess open“.
(‘Mässa’ means ‘trade fair’.)

A Swedish schoolteacher was visiting England with his class. When it was time to  introduce themselves
to their host school, he started in classic style:  “Hello, we are from the Swedish fuck school…”.
(‘Fackskola’ in Swedish means ‘vocational  school’)

Of course mistranslations happen the other way round, too. At Hertz car rentals, Belfast airport, in 2010, meeting some Swedish clients off a flight I saw lavishly reproduced cards inside every car for hire bearing the legend “Have a safe journey!“, translated into Swedish as “Kassaskåp resa!” (a ‘kassaskåp’ is a ‘safe’ – in the sense of a lockable cupboard!). I can only imagine what the Japanese and other translations might have said …

Do send me more such gems for wider publication!